You smell like a Billy Joel song
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
