Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
