the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
