I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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