I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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