shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ttyl tear gas
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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