so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
