so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
