Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
