apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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