so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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