I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
