apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize