Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
