Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize