i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
