just come out here and I will go home with you...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He did a backflip because drugs
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