And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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