she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
