We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
