what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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