i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
