oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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