Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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