I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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