All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
