Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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