My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
