Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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