I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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