She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
