ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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