It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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