Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
