Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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