Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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