I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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