those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
