Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
