Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
