oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
