mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
