even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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