You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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