I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
