dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
