Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
