I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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