Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
