I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you had me at cake vodka
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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