Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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