It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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