Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
