Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
