Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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