I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
