Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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