no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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