there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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