Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
