I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
