What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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