I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
