he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
