go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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