physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
