she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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