i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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