Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
