Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
